Funny Inauguration Day Plans

The Liberal Democrats have released an early schedule of events in anticipation of Obama’s inauguration day.

Schedule of Events

7:00 pm OPENING FLAG BURNING
7:15 pm PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE TO THE UNITED NATIONS
7:20 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
7:25 pm NONRELIGIOUS PRAYER, WORSHIP & RACIAL ARSON
- The "Reverends" Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Jeremiah Wright
7:45 pm CEREMONIAL TREE HUGGING - Darryl Hannah
7:55 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
8:00 pm HOW I INVENTED THE INTERNET - Al Gore
8:07 pm GOVERNMENT EXTORTION & CARBON REDUCTION CREDITS
- Al Gore
8:12 pm THE NEW FRONTIER: RUNNING YOUR OWN SHAM WOW FRANCHISE
- Al Gore
8:15 pm GAY WEDDING PLANNING - Rosie O'Donnell
8:25 pm UFO's ... DO THEY CONTRIBUTE TO GLOBAL WARMING?- Dennis Kucinich
8:35 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
8:40 pm OUR TROOPS ARE WAR CRIMINALS - John Kerry
8:45 pm GROWING A $2 BILLION URBAN PROJECT INTO A $23 BILLION TAXPAYER LIABILITY - OUR STEWARDSHIP OF THE BIG DIG - Ted Kennedy & John Kerry
8:50 pm "IF JOHN MCCAIN IS ELECTED, I WILL LEAVE THE UNITED STATES"
Alec Baldwin
9.00 pm MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR SADDAM, HIS SONS, AND IRANIAN INSURGENTS - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon
9:15 WE’RE NOT MILITARY STRATEGISTS, ECONOMISTS, ELECTED LEADERS OR CONCERNED CITIZENS: WE JUST PLAY THESE ROLES AT DEMOCRATIC FUNDRAISERS: Matt Damon, Paris Hilton, Bruce Springsteen, Natalie Maine
9:30 pm DRIVER’S LICENSES, COLLEGE TUITION, AND SANCTUARY FOR CRIMINAL ALIENS Patrick Leahy, Charles Schumer, Hillary Clinton, and Devil Patrick
10:00 pm "CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? WE'RE AVAILABLE TO SPEAK!"
Gloria Steinem, Geraldine Ferraro
10:30 pm CAREER ADVANCEMENT THROUGH CONGENITAL LIES, SELF-SERVING DECEIT, GENDER- BAITING, AND CONSPIRACY THEORY
Hillary Clinton
11:00 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
11:05 pm COLLECTION FOR THE OSAMA BIN LADEN KIDNEY TRANSPLANT FUND - Barbara Streisand
11:15 pm FREE THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS FROM GUANTANAMO BAY - Sean Penn
11:30 pm OVAL OFFICE AFFAIRS - William Jefferson Clinton
11:45 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
11:50 pm HOW GEORGE BUSH BROUGHT DOWN THE WORLD TRADE TOWERS - Howard Dean & Dennis Kucinich
12:15 am TRUTH IN BROADCASTING AWARD - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore
12:25 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
12:30 am SATELLITE ADDRESS - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
12:45 am Foot washing OF Barack Hussein Obama- Nancy Pelosi
12:52 am "CLINGING TO GUNS & RELIGION" - Barack Obama
1:00 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST To Obama
1:30 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST To Hillary Clinton
1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home